My name is Tim Johnson
I’m home from the war
I’m out at this lighthouse
on the Michigan shore.
There’s blood on a sidewalk
near the Liquor Town store 
what ripped at my edges
now cuts to my core.

Should not have left college
gone off to Iraq
pushed eight ways to Sunday
to find something I lacked.
Now I stand here, your uncle
not a thing I can do
wishing eight ways to Sunday
I could have saved you.

Gran said this lake
was her Galilee
with Jesus across it
just waiting for thee.
You wouldn’t have it
you told me, one night
ain’t nothing out there
but Flint and Detroit.

Dazzle, you stubborn
dry-witted and coy
turned your back on my leaving
one more fatherless boy.
Your around-it turned with-it
that angry old fix
with a gat in your pants
I lost you in the mix.

Remember that Sunday
we rode the Red Line—
your ninth or tenth birthday
we had us a time?
Saw sharks at the Shed
the planetarium night
us settled back
looking up at those lights.
You whispered, It’s chill
I can slip on that lid
no drive-bys or cops
just stars in their crib. 

I think of your mother
my sister, Janelle
who loved you so much
who’s trapped in her hell.
She tells me forever
all she meant to do
yet it’s mostly her absence
that watched over you.

I’m sorry, so sorry.
I’m sorry, so sorry
tonight

They’d rolled up in silver
swung back in blue
shot you and Shawn Bryant
made a name for their crew.
I saw it on Howard
one more hood carnival
stuffed bears and flowers
at a paint-splattered wall.

My name is Tim Johnson
I’m home to the war
it’s Baghdad in Chicago
if you’re black & you’re poor
My heart’s locked and loaded
it’s how I abide
it goes door-to-door 
for what kills me inside.

Let me look from this 
lighthouse at Loyola park
long after midnight
way into the dark.
It’s calm and its lovely
the light’s going round
dazzles the water
dazzles the town.

Starry, so starry
Starry, so starry
tonight.

Photo: Author Unknown | Pexels.com

Note: During my eight years of working in a state prison, I got the idea for these lyrics. I shared my thoughts with one of the inmates, and we had several conversations about life in North Chicago around Loyola Beach Park. I thank MJ for his many insights and generous feedback.